Walking My Own Walk

Sunday, July 20, 2008

A New Ritual Has Been Born

I had a flipping huge “a-ha” moment this very second as I was contemplating what to share with all of you. This moment was spurred by something a student of mine shared in class. What he shared made sense and was rather inspiring, but it didn’t really hit me until I began reflecting on it. He shared that he is now focusing more on the value he could add to each day rather than focusing on what he was going to gain. He realized that once he shifted his focus good things began to happen.

Powerful, isn’t it? Wanna know what else is powerful? Re-examining your own actions under that wonderful little magnifying glass. (This is where my “a-ha” comes in; entrance stage right.) In doing so I am NOW (in this very moment) aware that it is no coincidence that my practice has filled up nicely, it’s no coincidence that the group coaching program is so filled with energy, love, and fun, it’s no coincidence that I am truly enjoying teaching, and it’s certainly no coincidence that my friendships with some of the most amazing people have deepened.

I just now realized (OK, so I can be a bit slow on the uptake sometimes) that over the past few months my focus changed too; from outcome to value adding. I have detached from the outcome of numbers, results, and validations; instead I really have been focusing on the value I need and want to give. I also realized that when I go to that place of results, I struggle a bit more and things don’t flow as easily.

Wooooooooooooooohooooooooo! I love “a-has” and many thanks to my student for placing this beautiful tidbit on my radar screen!! I think I will start a new daily ritual in honor of it by asking myself, “What value can I add today?” Anyone care to join me in this new ritual?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

More Uber Cool Notes to Self

1) Never under estimate the power of the heart and never doubt its wisdom.
2) A group of powerful women can raise the roof and move mountains.
3) Group coaching/empowering other women to be their beautiful, powerful selves is not only amazing, but it really is my calling.
4) It’s always important to walk your walk and not just talk the talk, which also means being vulnerable.
5) Hearts cannot truly soar when they are locked in a gilded cage. Besides life is too damned short not to love fully, even one’s own self.

At this time I wish to thank the wonderful women in the Will Real the Real YOU Please Step Forward Group Coaching Program for sharing so freely and for their commitment to bringing their authentic, powerful, and amazing selves forward. The world is definitely a better place for having all of you in it.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Claiming My Independence

In the United States this is the weekend when we celebrate Independence Day or America’s birthday. To be honest, I have been too tired to join in the festivities, (Dad had knee replacement surgery so my energy has been with him and his healing process), but not too tired to ask myself the following question; “What do I wish to gain independence from and what am I willing to do?”

Gut check time!

I am ready to get rid of some limiting beliefs that are still taking occupancy; for example, the limiting belief that I am not attractive enough (a.k.a good enough) to have the relationship of my dreams. OK, I think I have hidden behind this one long enough. So what am I willing to do about it? I am willing to see it for what it is; a limiting belief that is no longer serving me. I have no need to hide. I do, however, need to pay more attention to the good things I bring to the table, especially when my limiting belief comes into play.

My own self-inflicted limitations, for example, I really want to begin teaching at the collegiate level, but I have been procrastinating and not giving 100% effort to this endeavor. There is nothing standing in my way, but me. What am I willing to do about this? Continue writing letters and making phone calls, as well as reminding myself that I have more to gain than I do to lose. I also need to remind myself that if I do not get a response, it’s NOT personal.

Not taking as good care of myself as I should. This means I need to eat better (more veg and fruit), get more sleep, drink more water, and take a 10 minute break during my day just to be silent. I am already working out at the gym, but I can’t expect to reap the full benefits if I am not doing the other things that support good self care.

Whether you live in the States or in another country I hope you will join me in claiming your own independence from the things that are not serving you well. So the BIG question is... what are you willing to gain independence from and what will you do to free yourself?

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Carefree With Childlike Enthusiasm

I was recently reminded how powerful being carefree with childlike enthusiasm can be. (Childlike enthusiasm =The squealing, tummy tickling enthusiasm that a child exhibits/feels when they are doing something really fun.) Friday night I met a few of my girlfriends for cocktails. The evening started out with laughter, a good martini, yummy appetizers, funny jokes, and light banter ...then all of the sudden (without warning) the course of the conversation changed and we began talking about much heavier topics; our “stuff”. With the change in topic came a change in atmosphere; what was once light and frothy became heavy and sad.

To lighten the mood (after some tears were shed), we decided it would be fun to get some ice cream and sit in this little courtyard/fountain area where children were playing and keeping cool. We sat and watched the children for quite a while, laughing, squealing, and splashing around. It was a beautiful sight to see; sweet little faces smiling and laughing.

What happened next was just as wonderful; three of the five women decided to kick off their shoes and run through the fountain, leaving the other two sitting in hysterics and choking on their ice cream.

Here were five incredible women ages ranging from 41 to 53, who moments before were all digging through, probing, exploring, and struggling with their own “stuff”, now having the time of their lives. Here were these women playing in a fountain (fully dressed), acting as only carefree children do, laughing, playing, getting wet, and just being their glorious childlike selves.

It was at that moment that I remembered...That's what it's all about. Those precious moments in time to let go, to release, to stop thinking, analyzing, beating up self, to just be, to be like a child.

To my amazing girlfriends,I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I thank you for being you. For being bright lights and for taking a moment to stop and be carefree with childlike enthusiasm.

To my wonderful readers, I have a request for you (should you choose to accept it, of course), take some time out of your day today and connect with your own childlike enthusiasm; go run through the sprinkle, do a belly flop in the pool, skip down the sidewalk, or blow bubbles. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it tickles your belly and makes you want to squeal like a child having fun.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Tick, Tick, Tick

Most of the work I do requires getting to the core of who someone is; really digging deep and understanding who they really are below the surface. I love the work, I really do! As a matter of fact, I am crazy about it. When you get down to the heart of someone (where their values really live), not only do you get to know them, but you can support them in creating and achieving intentions that are in alignment with who they truly are.

Thinking about this I realized how important it was to revisit my own internal make-up, what really makes me tick. What better place to do that and to share that then right here. So I asked myself the question, “What truly makes me tick?” (Translation: “What excites me?”)

Learning lights a fire for me. I love learning new things, particularly in the area of self/personal development. Would I call myself a self-help junkie? Perhaps.

Creating and maintaining deep connections with others. You know, the type of connections where there is a ton a synergy?

Loving with my whole heart. You may be wondering how someone can love with only half their heart, right? There is love and then there is LOVE; the love that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. I adore the warm and fuzzies.

Teaching. I can be dog tired, but when it is time to teach classes my energy level spikes.

Creating positive change. I think that goes without saying.

Exploring new things that make me tick. Like peeling back the layer of an onion; the more you peel the more you learn.

Those are just a few of the things that come to mind, but now it's your turn, what makes you tick? What really ignites a fire for you? Come on, don't be shy!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Who Me?

I became aware of something this week, I am still not very good at receiving compliments. I don't mean that when I receive one that I'm rude and don't say “thank you”, I do. Despite my saying “thank you”, in the back of my mind there is a little voice that says, “Who me? Are you kidding?” And if I'm being totally honest, that detracts from the compliment.

When I did some more exploring with my own coach, (Thank you, Amy!) I found that there were two things at play around my discomfort with receiving:

1)The message of not being deserving of good things. (Yep, still working on that one).
2)The fear that I will develop a severe case of cranial rectitus. (Translation = I will get so used to the compliments that my head will find its way up my backside and I will stop appreciating them.)

The second point is a doozy. I DON'T EVER wish to take a compliment for granted. I DON'T EVER wish to lose that humbling feeling I get when I receive a compliment. So what's a woman to do?

Well, first make a promise to her coach to be open to receiving. (That always does it, because like any good coach she doesn't let me get away with anything.) Second, be aware...be very aware when I am shying away from the compliment. And third, treat every compliment as a gift carefully chosen by the giver. If I am open to receiving, aware, and then treat every compliment as a gift, I can't help to receive it graciously and in the spirit in which it was given.

I would also love (and be VERY open) to hearing from all of you. How do you “handle” compliments? How do you receive them? I truly look forward to your amazing insights and thoughts.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Super Charge Me

Have you ever had the feeling that you were moving in slow motion? That you were dazed, but not confused? Well, that is the state I am in this weekend...the lackadaisical, I could curl up and sleep all weekend state. It feels kind of weird, but I am going with it.

Believe me when I tell you going it with it is hard for me, because I am the type that always has to be doing something. This time I am listening to my body and enjoying the slow pace. No time restrictions, no to-do lists, just rest and recharge.

Hey sometimes you just have to go with the flow, kick back and recharge in order to give your all and be your very best. So when was the last time you took some time to recharge your battery?

(Image courtesy of Krittercards.com)

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Other Super Cool Notes to Self

1) Being a lifelong learner is an awesome thing! I never want to stop learning and being receptive to the lessons that life and the Universe have to share.
2) Success and/or one's greatness is an individual “thing”; it should never be defined by someone else.

3) I don't have to get “hooked” into someone else's drama; that's a choice I make.
4) Shameless plugs aren't really shameless. If you don't ask, you don't get so why not ask, right?
5) Water is a great conduit for awesome thoughts. If you don't believe me the next time you have writer's block or feel stuck, go sit near or in water.

Have an awesome week everyone!!

Monday, May 26, 2008

I Am Here Right Now

This past week was my son’s 8th grade graduation and I could not be more proud of him. As I watched him walk up to the stage to receive his diploma, the past almost 14 years flashed before my eyes. I had to stop and ask myself where all the time went. No longer was he a curious infant who found leaves facinating. Standing before me was a grounded and confident young man who was about to embark on another exciting journey in his life. It was at that moment that I realized just how important it is to embrace each day; to be grateful for the opportunities, experiences, and precious moments.

In a blink of an eye days, months, and even years pass, and I for one don’t want to miss out on a thing. With that said, it is my commitment right here and now to…

...never let a day go by without sharing my appreciation and gratitude for the things I have and to the people I love.
...practice being in the present moment instead of the past or the future.
...look for the good that each day holds and reflect on that good at the end of every day.
and
...be me, authentic, genuine, and true.

So here is to living each day one precious moment by one precious moment. What will you commit to doing?

Friday, May 09, 2008

Forever In My Heart

I just received some very sad news; a very dear friend and wonderful person passed on this morning. Her name was Elsa Burgess-Flores and in my eyes she was amazing. Elsa and I met in the early 90s when I was just starting out in AIDS education. She was a true maverick in the field, not because she lost two sons to AIDS , but because she became a major advocate of AIDS education, as well as the rights of all gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transsexuals despite and in spite of the community she lived in. Never ever did she allow the personal threats, rumors, gossip, and even vandalism stop her from educating others or sharing her compassion openly. She was committed to fighting HIV/AIDS and she was committed to fighting discrimination. And now her committed fight to cancer has come to an end.

Her passing leaves quite a hole in the heart of many so as a tribute to her and to her life, I wish to share the following...

Dear Mamacita,

It is with such mixed emotions that I write this; a heaviness of heart, sadness, and yet relief in knowing that you are in a better place, with your sons, with Charley, and out of pain. Words cannot begin to describe how grateful I am to you and for you. You have always been and will continue to be a bright light that not only touched my life, but touched so many others'. I am so proud of you and so proud of all that you accomplished. You were and will forever be an inspiration to us all. Please know that you have indeed made this world a much better place.

Thank you for you, for being a part of my life. For loving me as if I was your own. Thank you for sharing your spirit, your love, your tenaciousness, and even your stubbornness with me.( As I always said, you were one tough, ballsy woman and I loved you for it!) I will cherish our visits and our talks ALWAYS. I am just so very sorry that I was not able to visit you one last time, but please know that you have and will always have a special place in my heart.

I will miss you greatly, Mamacita.

I love you very much...

Tú Hijita