In coaching we often stress how important it is to get to the “who” of the client. When we explore and uncover who a person truly is at their core, shifts occur and awareness is created. I am going to be blatantly honest and share that I have “stuffed” part of my “who”, stuffed it in a major way. To put it simply, I’ve been like a bird caught in an oil spill; wings wanting to fly, but buried beneath too much shit to do so.
As I mentioned in my entry on Make the Most of U I have been afraid to let my vulnerable side come out and play fully. Why? Because I didn’t want to be seen as flawed; I didn’t want my clients, potential clients, and friends to think of me as weak or incapable of being a good coach and friend. (So much for walking my own walk, right?)
So I am coming clean; cleaning the shit off my wings.
In doing so, I first need to address the question, “Who Is Pam REALLY?”
Pam is a woman. She is a strong woman who has been through some tough stuff in her lifetime (i.e. abuse, miscarriage, divorce). She is a woman who has made some crappy decisions, but is doing her best to learn from those decisions. She is a woman who has fears; fear of failing, fear of being rejected, fear of being alone, and sometimes fear of success (to name a few). She is a fighter; she fights herself way too much, but she also fights for what’s right. She is a woman who can be selfish and a bit of a jackass sometimes, especially when she is afraid or angry. (FACTOID: Anger is just fear turned outward.) She is a woman with heart and lots of love to give. She is not perfect, but has a bad habit of trying to be. She sometimes gives her power away too easily to others. She is a giving human being. She sometimes hides her pain behind a positive exterior. She is determined and not a quitter. And when she gets out of her own way, she is a damn good friend and a fine coach.
So here is to being real (and a bit scared right now about putting this out there); to understanding that by being real and being vulnerable I can actually be a better me, a better friend, and a better coach. Stay tuned as this woman continues to clean the shit off her wings so she can truly soar.