Not too long ago I was having kind of a tough time so I turned to a friend for a bit of support. Rather than render support, my friend (bless her) proceeded to “jump my case” for what she felt was dismissive behavior.  She let me know that my trying to see the bright side was not cool and was just a way of avoiding how I felt. She also let me know that I am being real when I am sitting in my own poop.

Not real? Avoidance? Whoa Nelly! That did not sit well with me and I honestly felt like I was being scolded.  

You see, I used to bitch and moan A LOT! If something went wrong every body and their dog knew about it. I would feel sorry for myself for days on end – slinging poop at everyone and everything.  What did that get me? NADA! ZIP! ZELCH! NOTHING! Well, no wait, that’s not entirely true; it got me deeper in my own poop and the stink spread to others. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!

Today, when I am faced with an adverse situation I choose (yep, because I have a choice) to feel the feelings and then try to find the positive take away. Not because I am trying to dismiss the issue at hand, nor stuff it in the corner with the dust bunnies. I’m not.  I’ve just found that I deal better that way -- I actually learn and move through the issue much faster.

The truth is, everyone has their own way of dealing with adversity and it’s important to respect a person’s process for processing. It also OK to sit in your own poop sandbox, but it’s not OK to sling poop at others for slinging sake. Remember, we are all unique individuals and that is a good thing. Which means we all deal with things differently – there is no cookie cutter way. If your process is working for you, if it helps you to move through a negative situation, then embrace it and use the hell out of it. I know I will.

Today I am: Beauty (the card I pulled)

What I leave behind as I become beauty: Today I leave behind any self doubts or self deprecating thoughts.

What I bring forth to demonstrate beauty: Love for others and myself. A smile. A kind gesture.

What changes will I see?:  I will be able to see the good in everything and everyone. My energy level will be raised. Positivity will be obvious and very present.

“Fake it “til you make it”, that’s a phrase I have read and heard many times. I have even heard other coaches say that they tell their clients to “just fake it until you make it”.

I understand that it is being used to encourage one to think positively. I do get that it’s sometimes used to support one in believing that they can be and do anything they want in order to have what they want. However, I have to say that I still struggle with the idea of faking it until I make it. 

What does “fake it ‘til you make it” really mean?

Does it mean acting like someone I am not, (but wish I was) until I become that someone?

Does it mean that if I want to be a billionaire that I should start acting and living as if I had a billion dollars?

If I am faking it, what happens to the real me? How does faking it support me in being my authentic self?

What about being grateful for who I am and what I currently have? What about getting clear about the things I want in my life – things that are in alignment with who I am, setting realistic goals, and committing to take action? Won’t that support me in continuing to grow as a person? Won’t that enable me to achieve the things I want in my life? Won’t that achieve the same outcome as faking it until I make it?

Hmmmm…enquiring minds would love to know. Any thoughts?

Today I am: Open (the card I pulled)

What I leave behind as I become open: Today I leave behind any limiting beliefs.

What I bring forth to demonstrate openness: Awareness and the ability to stay present.

What changes will I see?:  I will see a change in my thought as my mind stays open to all potentials, all opportunities. If I find that my self doubter or limiting beliefs appear, I will pull myself into the present by expressing gratitude for five amazing things that surround me in the here and now.

Back in November I purchased the greatest little cards from a booth at the ICF Conference. I began using them for some blog posts called "What’s in a Word", but today it hit me, why not pull a card every day and integrate that card into my daily actions? Not only will this be a lot of fun, but it is going to challenge me to be really aware.

Using the questions that came with the cards here is how I propose to use the card and create change today.

Today I am: Passion (the card I pulled)

What I leave behind as I become passion: Today I leave behind any self-doubt or anxiety.

What I bring forth to demonstrate passion: Love and acceptance of myself and of others.

What changes will I see?:  Today I will see myself as a fun-loving, impassioned person. I will see myself as someone who embraces all opportunities and sees the potentials in everything and everyone.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

For a good majority of my life I was a follower, especially in high school. I dressed like my friends, I did the same things they did, and I certainly never ventured out from the crowd. Basically my entire identity was not my own; it was something I adopted off of someone else in order to fit in.

In reading that quote I realize that the days of following others to fit in are LONG GONE. The one thing that is so clear to me now is how important it is to explore, to take chances, and to put myself out there.

Of course, I still get a little scared now and again. But instead of falling in line I ask myself the following question, “Do you have more to gain from doing this or more to lose?” Nine times out of 10 I find that I have more to gain. In going where there is no path I learn, I grow, and open myself up to amazing potentials. Besides, it’s much more fun to lead the line then be stuck at the end. The view is better any way.

I finished them, they are done! My e-workbooks are finally seeing the light of day!

I learned some pretty cool things while writing them. I learned…

…to let go of the outcome. Focusing on the outcome takes away from the fun I had in creating them.

… when you write something from your heart, it’s OK to be vulnerable and put yourself out there for all to see. In doing so you might just help another person move forward and that’s a good thing!

… when creating you learn more about yourself then you ever thought possible.

… to expect the unexpected and go with the flow. Things sometimes manifest differently then originally anticipated.

… to not force the creation process. Some times writers block is a good thing – it supports a bit of downtime and reflection.

Hmmm, now on to the next big intention - I can't wait to find out what else there is to learn.

How about you? What did you learn from the last thing you made happen?